Friday, July 30, 2010

17 Types of Monkeys

So, anyone that knows me know that I love monkeys (and rubber duckies and bubbles and cigarettes and scotch). As such, I've complied some of the coolest lookin' monkeys for a brilliant List 17.

1) Patas Monkey - Look at that thing; that would scare the goobers out of me if I ever woke up to one of those! At any rate, this is an "Old World" monkey (from Asia and Africa, the defining feature being that Old World monkeys can't really use their tails for much). You can find Patas monkeys eating insects, tubers and seeds in West Africa. They can also run nearly 35 miles per hour, winning them the land speed record among primates.

2) Golden Snub-Nosed Monkey - Dude, it has a BLUE face. And it's super cute, right up until it rips your face off. These little Old World buggers are found in the mountain forests of Southern China and Northern Vietnam and subsist largely on lichens. The species is pretty rare and scientist are eagar to continue research.

3) Douc Langur Monkeys - Doesn't it just look like it has something really important and wise to tell you? Don't you want it to be your Yoda? If so, please track this Old World monkey down in Southeast Asia, become it's super buddy by feeding it a diet of leaves and fruits and maybe, just maybe, it'll help you with the secrets of the universe. But don't take it home because it's endangered.

4) Baby Pygmy Marmoset - Welcome to the world's smallest monkey. The Baby Pygmy Marmoset hails from the Amazon rainforests of Brazil, Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, and Colombia and measures only about five inches (without including the tail). Obviously, the banana is a bit large for it, so its diet is mostly the sap and gum from trees. Go baby monkey, go!

5) Black Lion Tamarin - Sadly, this awesomely coiffed monkey ( a bit like Gene Simmons, no?) is endangered as well. It is found exclusively in São Paulo, Brazil (making it a New World monkey). They're omnivores so... fruit, insects, snakes... whatever.

6) Bare-Eared Squirrel Monkey - It looks like its name is Murray, doesn't it? This little guy also hails from Brazil and eats primarily insects and fruit.

7) Monk Saki - Another New World monkey that lives mostly off fruits, leaves, insects, and flowers and, unlike its Old World cousins, does not have an opposable thumb (bummer). They were nearly hunted to extinction in the early 1900s and is currently labeled as "vulnerable."

8) Mona Monkey- Oh no! Also scary! Like something out of the Dark Crystal. Fear not, this Old World kiddo only dwells in West Africa and eats mostly fruit (not people). It carries food in its cheeks. I'm sure it looks much less threatening with its cheeks full of squishy fruit.

9) Kipunji - I have the compulsion to name it Guido (after the Star Wars guy). They live in Tanzania and eat all manner of plants. It is, at current, critically endangered.

10) Gelada - I've seen this guy on the metro in Russia. Must've been on holiday 'cause they usually stick to the Ethopian Highlands. Like it's baboon relatives, it stays mostly to the ground and is a forager, eating all parts of the plants. They're not listed as endangered, but there are only 50 - 60 thousand of these scary little monkeys.

11) King Colobus - So, maybe its appearance doesn't quite live up to its name, but it's pretty bad-ass for such a little bitty goober. They're found in the low and moutainous rainforests between Gambia and Côte d'Ivoire in Africa and are strict herbivores.

12) Red Leaf Monkey - Oh, baby, don't cry! I know Borneo can be rough, but there are plenty of leaves, fruits, seeds and flowers for you! And hey, unlike many of your relatives, you're not even remotely threatened.

13) Proboscis Monkey - Or, as I prefer to call them - monkeys from The Twilight Zone... or maybe Jimmy Durante was making the primate rounds back in the day.  It spends its days in Borneo hanging out with the sad little Red Leaf Monkey to cheer it up over leaves and forest floor matter. Unlike the Red Leaf Monkey, it's endangered.

14) Crab Eating Macque - It looks a lot like my Uncle Tom... hrm.... Anyway, it lives primarily in Southeast Asia and spends its carefree days. They don't actually really eat crabs, they're simply opportunistic ominvores. They'll eat whatever's available... I can see that from the kind of "meh" attitude of its face.

15) Moustached Guenon - Yeah, I know, blue is a popular colour. This fellow has managed to stay off the endangered or threatened lists. It resides in Africa picking at insects, fruit and plant matter.

16) Gabon Talapoin - As one might imagine, this little bugger comes from Gabon (as well as several other African regions) and spends its days looking like Dewey from "Malcolm in the Middle." It's an omnivore, preferring beetles and fruits.

17) Grivet - They roam from the Sudan to the Rift Valley and spend their days lounging on the ground, their nights up in trees. They are, occasionally, hunted for their meat and for other commercial purposes. Although not officially endangered or threatened, they are slowing falling back towards such a protected status.


  1. i love monkeys so much my favouret one is the golden snub,gabon talapoin and the baby pygmy marmoset

    1. My favorite is the Baby Pygmy Marmoset! He is so adorable. Who cant love a monkey on a bannana! I think the whole world should love monkeys! I am a Monkeyluver

    2. haha their my favorite to!!!

    3. all the monkeys are adorable

    4. i love it too.......

    5. YOLO, I like the monkey with da jacked up nose. The dumb baby one is eating way to big of a banana. p.s. What is green and smells like bananas?................ Monkey farts!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. i love monkeys and my favourite onbe is the red backed squirral monkey even now oit is not on here and the Gabon Talapoin,Red Leaf Monkey , King Colobus ,Bare-Eared Squirrel Monkey and the baby pygmy marmoset
    really i love them all and i think you should get more monkeys on there

  3. I love monkeys and my favorite is not on this list, but its the squirrel monkey and baboon.

  4. urrrm more info about red leaf monkey

  5. my favourite one is the probosic monkey ! its so funny looking!lol

  6. yeah the proboscis is awesome

  7. There are SO MANY kinds of monkeys! And only a few kinds of apes.

  8. i find monkeys very fascinating cause there part of my enviroment(school)

  9. lol, lol, lol love the pics

    must read so cute

    amaze animals lol